Lil Blume

If you want to be a better listener to troubled people, print this out and carry it in your pocket. When someone you care about expresses a great problem, worry, or difficulty, take out the cheat sheet to help you come up with one of these responses:

TO SHOW EMPATHY AND OPEN COMMUNICATION, SAY:

• I guess you're feeling . . . (fill in an appropriate feeling - worried, anxious, distressed and so on). Is that it?

• You seem . . . (fill in an appropriate feeling).

• It sounds like . . . Is that it?

• I guess you wish . . . Is that it?

• You sound upset (angry, frustrated). What's up?

• You seem worried that ... is going to happen. Is that it?

BEFORE GIVING ADVICE, YOU MIGHT SAY

• So you’re saying . . .

• What have you tried so far?

• How did that work?

• What else have you considered?

and then -- if you really, really want to give advice -- say:

• Do you want to know what I think?

TESTIMONIALS

"I wish you’d come back to Victoria to give the faculty another session. The few hours I got to spend with you were some of the most useful I’ve ever spent on professional development." Lorna Crozier, award-winning poet, professor University of Victoria

“The ability to communicate effectively is especially important in my role as an elected official, and I have Lil Blume to thank. Her communications course has taught me important lessons on how to listen with empathy and communicate non-defensively – skills that are essential whether I am in a boardroom debate, being interviewed by the media, or on the phone with a constituent. Lil is a dynamic and energetic teacher who delivers with passion."
– Shaun Chen, Trustee (Ward 21, Scarborough-Rouge River), Toronto District School Board